Concrete is being reinvented as the preferred material to use in home construction as well as home décor. Concrete is no longer the boring grey and drab material but rather a flexible medium where it can be made to match any design material like stone, brick or even wood. This is especially true on Driveways! With the use of stains, it can now be colored in different shades, an alternative to more expensive materials. It is also a material of choice when going green. Concrete is sustainable unlike wood and is actually recyclable. This is unlike carpet and vinyl tiles that pose a problem during its disposal and replacement.
Stamped and Stencilled concrete Driveways are some of most common techniques converting concrete into a decorative concrete material. Stamped and Stencilled concrete is done by adding texture to fresh concrete where it is made to resemble stone, brick wood or any design that the owner prefers. This is done by pressing moulds unto fresh concrete Driveways where it is still mouldable. Brick patterns are the most commonly used but any pattern and design is possible. Colors can be added using dry shakes.
Stenciled concrete and Stamped concrete uses the same process; the only difference is Stenciled concrete uses disposable Stencils like paper instead of rubber stamp mats. Another difference is using Stencils creates ready-made grout lines since color is added after the Stencil is placed unlike Stamped concrete where the concrete is colored before being Stamped. Stenciled concrete gives the illusion of grout lines since it keeps the concrete free of color under the Stencil. Powder released agents are also used in Stamped concrete for easy removal of the mats.
Whether stamping or Stencilling your concrete Driveway, applying a Driveway Sealer will help enhance the color and protect the concrete's surface. Although concrete is a relatively cheap and inexpensive material, applying decorative finishes can be quite expensive. It is best that steps are made to protect it. Sealing Driveways will protect them from traffic especially heavy foot traffic and automobiles!
There are basically two types of concrete Sealers for external Stamped and Stenciled concrete, these are film forming Sealers or penetrating Sealers. Film forming Sealers will protect the surface of the concrete Driveway while penetrating Sealers will soak into the concrete making it waterproof. Water-based are the preferred type of Sealers to date since constructors are veering away from solvent type Driveway Sealer.
Racket Feelings and Stamp Collecting
When the tough times hit do you find yourself having the same familiar response? Do you find yourself in the same situations and feeling the same negative Feelings? In transactional analysis language, we call these old familiar Feelings Racket Feelings. We can collect up these Feelings and cash them in later for a prize. This is called "Stamp Collecting" in Transactional Analysis after the old loyalty scheme system of being given trading Stamps when making a purchase at a shop (think Tesco club card in the 70's!)
How do we learn our Racket Feelings?
In most families there are clear guidelines as to which Feelings are OK and which are not. These "feeling rules" are spoken out loud by our parents or may be conveyed without a single word being spoken. Some common messages spoken directly to children are "stop crying," "why are you sad, snap out of it," "don't shout in this house." Messages are sent psychologically when Feelings or emotions from a child invoke a negative response from a parent. For example, if Abby is always ignored when she is feeling sad, but given a lot of praise and attention when she is happy she is likely to learn to be happy and avoid sadness. It may be that as an adult in times of sadness she does not know how to access the genuine feeling and either feel something that feels safer and is less likely to get her rejected by her parents (such as anger) or she may decide to feel confused or numb.
Stamp Collecting
So we learn as kids to favour certain Feelings. As adults we tend to seek out opportunities to feel the same way. These Feelings may not feel good but they feel very familiar, like that worn out old pair of smelly slippers that you really should have thrown out six months ago. If we can invite others to play games with us, if we can manipulate them and encourage them to hurt us, we get to re-experience these Feelings and collect these Feelings up to trade in later. Stamp Collecting.
Cashing in your Stamps
Are you one of those people that store things up and then let your partner or work colleague have it with both barrels when you can take no more? In TA terms we say you are trading in your Stamps. Some people wait a couple of days to do this, others wait years. The aftermath can be anything from an argument with your boss to getting fired in spectacular fashion or bickering with your partner to full blown divorce.
Choose to do things differently
So how can you avoid Rackets and Collecting Stamps? Firstly, it's worth identifying those things you do or situations you find yourself in that result in the same old familiar negative Feelings. Chances are you are indulging yourself in Racket Feelings and Stamp Collecting. Once you have identified what these situations are then it's time to do something different. Make a change, make an Adult decision and behave in such a way as to take yourself out of the situation. The chances are you may well feel scared or anxious when you do this, you are opening yourself up to having genuine Feelings. These Feelings will not harm you and will pass. Talk to your friends or family about these Feelings and if you can't do that find a good counsellor that can support you through the change.
To avoid the Stamp Collecting it's important to talk to those around you about what you are feeling and what you want to happen. If you are feeling fed up with your spouse because they did x, y or z then tell them and tell them what you want to happen instead. If you do this kindly and own your Feelings then your partner may be able to help you out with it. If they are unwilling to help you out then at least you know that and can make choices accordingly.
Change takes time
I'm not pretending that this is easy to do and I would emphasize that working with a therapist or counsellor will help the process and allow you to manage your Feelings better. I am convinced that we can all change our behaviour and we can choose to move away from the negative patterns we learnt as a child that are no longer appropriate as adults.
How do we learn our Racket Feelings?
In most families there are clear guidelines as to which Feelings are OK and which are not. These "feeling rules" are spoken out loud by our parents or may be conveyed without a single word being spoken. Some common messages spoken directly to children are "stop crying," "why are you sad, snap out of it," "don't shout in this house." Messages are sent psychologically when Feelings or emotions from a child invoke a negative response from a parent. For example, if Abby is always ignored when she is feeling sad, but given a lot of praise and attention when she is happy she is likely to learn to be happy and avoid sadness. It may be that as an adult in times of sadness she does not know how to access the genuine feeling and either feel something that feels safer and is less likely to get her rejected by her parents (such as anger) or she may decide to feel confused or numb.
Stamp Collecting
So we learn as kids to favour certain Feelings. As adults we tend to seek out opportunities to feel the same way. These Feelings may not feel good but they feel very familiar, like that worn out old pair of smelly slippers that you really should have thrown out six months ago. If we can invite others to play games with us, if we can manipulate them and encourage them to hurt us, we get to re-experience these Feelings and collect these Feelings up to trade in later. Stamp Collecting.
Cashing in your Stamps
Are you one of those people that store things up and then let your partner or work colleague have it with both barrels when you can take no more? In TA terms we say you are trading in your Stamps. Some people wait a couple of days to do this, others wait years. The aftermath can be anything from an argument with your boss to getting fired in spectacular fashion or bickering with your partner to full blown divorce.
Choose to do things differently
So how can you avoid Rackets and Collecting Stamps? Firstly, it's worth identifying those things you do or situations you find yourself in that result in the same old familiar negative Feelings. Chances are you are indulging yourself in Racket Feelings and Stamp Collecting. Once you have identified what these situations are then it's time to do something different. Make a change, make an Adult decision and behave in such a way as to take yourself out of the situation. The chances are you may well feel scared or anxious when you do this, you are opening yourself up to having genuine Feelings. These Feelings will not harm you and will pass. Talk to your friends or family about these Feelings and if you can't do that find a good counsellor that can support you through the change.
To avoid the Stamp Collecting it's important to talk to those around you about what you are feeling and what you want to happen. If you are feeling fed up with your spouse because they did x, y or z then tell them and tell them what you want to happen instead. If you do this kindly and own your Feelings then your partner may be able to help you out with it. If they are unwilling to help you out then at least you know that and can make choices accordingly.
Change takes time
I'm not pretending that this is easy to do and I would emphasize that working with a therapist or counsellor will help the process and allow you to manage your Feelings better. I am convinced that we can all change our behaviour and we can choose to move away from the negative patterns we learnt as a child that are no longer appropriate as adults.
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